all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
