no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
