Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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