just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
