O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
