It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
