The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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