And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
