oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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