PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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