she looked like the before picture.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
