Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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