So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
