you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
