We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
