So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
