Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
