I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
