it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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