I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
