I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
