i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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