So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just had sex bonerless
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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