Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
