Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
