ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
