"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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