His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
