I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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