its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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