I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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