I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
