i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
