i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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