she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
