The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
