He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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