had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
