Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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