I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
