Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
