You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
