so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
