So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
be right there i have to get my cape
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
