belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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