Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
