i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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