he puts the penis in happiness.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
