just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
