If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
